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In the Abyss of Despair

I lost, when, where and how. I don't know. What did I lose? I don't know. Was I really in the abyss of despair? I had no idea. Maybe a part of myself, a piece of my heart, my soul? I couldn't figure it out. I never would. It was so sudden that I couldn't gather the courage to find it again. Why it was like that? Was I miserable? Or I was just overthinking? Was there any hope for me? Or I was just being overdramatic?  I wanted to scream, I wanted to share, I wanted to yell the hell out of me but I couldn't. How could I? The only thing that kept me alive, was no more with me. Without a soul, the words did not weigh much. I had only words. The words that had kept me alive. Without them, I was nothing, they had lost their impact. I was wondering in the sea of nothingness. My surroundings were nothing but the abyss of pessimism. I could have escaped but there was no need to escape. How could we escape ourselves? In the process of escapism, we lose the essence of the self...