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31st December

  So it's 31st December and a wrap then. I'm glad that I didn't kill myself this year.  There were moments when I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, I wanted everything to end. And no, it was not because of love. Faiz once said "Zamany main or bhi gham hain Mohabbat ke siva" ( There are other sufferings too in this world besides the agony of love) . In my story, this agony is sadness which I got in heretiance. It is my mind and the voices- the voices that will never let me sleep peacefully. The voices that urge me to leave everything behind. The voices that tell me that I belong to nowhere, nobody. The voices that tell me I don't matter. And sometimes, these voices speak the truth, that we all deny deliberately. Some very dear people went against my wishes this year, didn't meet to my expectations and when I confronted them, they blamed me for overreacting, for not taking things lightly. Yes, I'm a narcissist, if I don't control you, I don't...

Goodbye!

I was tired. I was tired of everything. I was tired of telling them how to treat me. I was tired of begging for love. I was tired but no one could see. No one could understand. None could make me happy. I was destroying myself. I no longer wanted to remain in love, or this world or even in my home. I had lost it all but still, I kept on going, hoping that one day, it would be better. One day someone would walk into my life, hold my hands and understand me.... I hoped... But hope is a dangerous thing, it can completely ruin us. Hope is a slow poison and I was no longer interested in poisoning my mind and heart. So I left it behind. After losing it, suddenly all I had was darkness. The world seemed a distant place - a place where I could never be happy. A strange place where I could die in peace but I couldn't live... There was no point in living - with everything happening around the world, my mind was more messy. I could finally understand how the famous artists lose themselves wit...

The Unheard Voice

The Unheard       Source: CiRCE Institute  I promised to write an article this week but I'm lost to find words that express my feelings. Many of you recommended me to write on silence . What would be the point of writing on that topic? Silence does not need words, does it?  And currently, there is no one more quieter than I. The time will tell everyone how to keep their mouth shut, eyes closed witness everything - all the negativity - and hope for the best.  So back to the topic, someone texted me last night and inquired about the next blog. Trust me, I'm blank. Currently, I have no philosophy, no life lessons, no motivation to write about anything. So I picked silence because that's what I am practicing nowadays.  Be silent with me. Let's just stay away from the words. Words are confusing and create miscommunication and misunderstanding. Isn't it beautiful to just sit and witness silence - absolute silence? With silence comes wisdom and with wis...