Skip to main content

The Melancholy of Existence

 And then... 

There must be something missing - a void - for it is necessary. The melancholy of man can't be described by someone who has fulfilled all his desires. The grief, the emptiness, the bleakness is nothing but an artist's perspective.

All those great artists, the world has ever produced, had to go through something ineffable. What if there was no pain? What if there was no grief? What if there was no sadness? Don't you think how empty the world could have been? 

The darkness of life makes a man ponder over everything. I know, I know it is absurd, I know life has no meaning, everything is meaningless, there is no purpose of life and we are lost because we are trying to make sense of everything, when there is nothing but an infinite despair.

Every decision is a decision against something else. You step into the shoes of rebellion and leave the conformist behaviour. But, then again, what is the point? Be a rebel, be a conformist, but for what? For whom? I don't want to go into why; for the world belongs to ignorance. The more a person is ignorant, the happier he will be.

We don't know anything, yet we know everything and it is the hardest part. We try to ignore things we know and stick to something we don't know. So that, there could be a meaning - a purpose, a goal. 

I don't know but the days are heavy, the nights are cruel, the emotions are weary, and the feelings have vanished, for there is no cure for the unknown. For there is no solution for the things we don't talk about. 

But how can we talk about something, we don't know? 

Life is random. It gives you opportunities and options but you've to pay the price for it. Only if we could travel to the future, to weigh both the options, to see where they'd lead us, to know which path to follow. But it doesn't work that way. 

We have to decide and then live with the choices we make. Whether a regret or a contentment. You have to decide and some decisions can transform your life within seconds but you are not brave enough to make that decision. 

Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains, yes he is. Entangled in some invisible chains, trying to make himself free, thinking he could achieve liberty, thinking he is the master of his destiny, his fate but naah.

He has to think a hundred times. The fear of being judged, the fear of the price, the fear of the things he'd be sacrificing, and the cycle repeats and repeats and repeats until he is gone. 

Life is full of surprises, you wanted something so bad, and now you get it from someone you'd least expected from. And now you're into a fix, thinking about which path to follow, both contain pros and cons. 

The price for one path is another. And you can't decide and you can't discuss. 

How lonely a man is! How afraid a man can be! 

And suddenly you wake up someday and think you could have made a better choice at that time. Suddenly everything is murky. Suddenly your world has gone upside down. Suddenly you are not the same person anymore. 

But now you can't do anything. All you are left with is regret, sadness, grief, miserable life. 

It doesn't matter which path you should have taken, the result would have been the same - regret, grief, unhappiness. 

And they say to let go of expectations. Is it easy? I don't think so. Hope- a cruel word and a dangerous emotion in a man's life. 

Not hoping for something but still hoping. Isn't it strange? Isn't it just weird? 

Not knowing where to go, not knowing which path to follow, not knowing anything still making yourself distracted by things you think would lead you to a better life. 

Happiness is a myth. We all are glitches in the matrix - no logical explanation for our existence. Just a compulsion. Hoping for some superheroes to save us, but we don't wanna be saved. We just want to stop existing...

Each morning, waking up just to repeat the same day over and over again. Some days, full of joy, often, just mental breakdowns. 

Can't we just appeal for a mercy killing?

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Disappearance

 And then I try to write. To vent. To rant my heart out. But, The choices, the mistakes, the love, the regrets, the passion, the desire, the demons, the respect, the reason, the logic, the emotions - everything - seem to disappear like they never existed.  From where should I start?  There's no beginning , no ending - just a vicious cycle - that keeps on repeating over and over again . My biggest regret will always be hurting people with pure intentions. I never wanted to but somehow I always did.  How to let go of that guilt?   There's no way, right? We have to live with it till the end.  The end that has faded like our old versions. And that's why we carry that guilt each day, hoping to never make the same mistake again but somehow we always make that exact choice/decision.   Shutting people off, isolating ourselves, and not talking to anybody help?  Sylvia Plath writes, " I need a father. I need a mother . I need some older, wiser b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Disenchanted Realities

And suddenly nothing makes sense. It never did, we just hoped that someday we would be fine or eventually we would get what we needed/wanted. The reality was just disenchanted.  Every 90's kid was told that one day you're gonna win big, the lies that were fed to us, have eaten us alive.  We are still hoping for that fairytale romance, a dream job, peace of mind and God knows what. In this economic turmoil, I can't even take care of my expenses let alone the self-care.  They kept on telling us one day everything was gonna be alright, we would make it, you'll be this, you'll be that. God damn it, I am 28 and I am still here in 2019 - broke, single, inexperienced, living in a rental apartment, own no car and don't ask me about my mental health.  Each day feels like a losing battle against time. Everything that was told to you, to me, to us, everything was a lie. It never gets better. We are not gonna have our childhood or teenage days back. We are just living dead ...
4 comments
Read more

Whispers of the Wicked: Trembling Hands

Whispers of the Wicked He looked at his shaking hands. A few weeks ago, he was just fine. He had no trembling hands. He did not sneeze and cough most of the time. He was full of energy. He was never grateful for that.  "Did I take my health for granted? Isn't this the same for everyone?"  This was his first time experiencing this kind of thing, the illness. Definitely, health was a top priority but he had taken many things for granted, his career, his partner, his life, his happiness, God, everything he could think of. He had taken almost everything for granted. He was so sure that he would never lose any of them. So, he took everything causally. Nothing was important for him anymore. Not his name nor his fame. He preferred to keep it simple, but was his life really simple?  He thought in the middle of the night. He looked back at his past, full of regrets but he wasn't ashamed, he never would be. Because that's what he was - a shameless person with no regard for ...
5 comments
Read more