Whispers of the Wicked: Shadows of the Soul

Shadows of the Soul

Something new happened. Something that had never happened before– that he had never imagined happening before. 

He wanted to kill someone. 

For the first time in his life, he wanted to kill someone– it was the millionth wrong thing he’d ever wanted to do to someone else, but before this time, this day, it had never been death. He needed someone else’s death, now, suddenly, to bring him satisfaction. 

For the millionth time in his life, the devil in him was winning. That was it, of course. It wasn’t him, not really him– the man, himself, he would never truly want to do a thing like that. Like any of these things. He was a good man, after all. 

"It’s the devil, I am sure. It’s him. He makes me do these things," he sobbed. Into the mirror, so that he could see himself sobbing and be sure that he wasn’t evil. 

Just as quickly, though, he turned on himself.

"But the devil does not exist! Nothing exists!-- and nothing matters! I am the only one who is above anything, above anyone! I control the world! I am the person in charge! This is my kingdom!" 

He was someone who could never be loved– that was what made him small, and powerful, unstoppable, and nothing at all. Even as a child, he had never been anybody’s first priority. He’d been ignored nearly all of the time, so he found a true companion in himself, instead.

And then, out of nowhere– out of the moonlight– there she’d been. 

He hadn’t allowed her to get close. He’d been afraid to love. 

For him, love had never existed. Love was an illusion, an idea made by people who were sick; love was the idea of sick people and he was not a sick man. On the contrary– he was one of the wisest people on the planet. Never mind that he had a few bad habits. This was normal. Everyone had bad habits. And he had never been a dishonest person.  He was always happy to tell people all the things he had done in the past and would do in the future. Whose fault was it that no one believed him?

But this urge to kill someone– to kill someone… 

What was this?

And not just to simply kill someone– not quick and clean, alive and then dead, snap of the fingers, no. No, this was to kill someone from the inside out. Wounding someone. Injuring someone. This was the urge to make people pay the price for their sins. To cut them into pieces, grinding their flesh and then sprinkling it into the sky.

 

He was just doing God's work. He was just doing his own work, as God– as the king, as the lord and master of this world. 

Of course, the sinners had to pay– for their sins against him, of course they had to pay.

He thought of her– like always. 

"Can you help me?" he asked.

And she was there for him– like always.  "Yes darling. Anything for you," she smiled. Who even was she? Did he even know her name? He wasn’t sure that he did. He wasn’t even sure that she knew his– could he remember her calling him anything but “darling”? 

This time, he would not let her go. This time would not be like before. Could she tell? She seemed calm as he covered her eyes. She seemed calm, hearing him sharpen the knife. Maybe she couldn’t tell. Or maybe she could. Maybe she could tell better than him.

"I am not sorry for doing this." 

He plunged the knife into her heart, and the calm was gone.

She screamed with pain. Her voice, once resonant with life, began to quiver. She gathered her strength to retaliate– to fight back against him for the first time in the whole time that they’d known each other, if they even really knew each other, or maybe for the first time in forever– she was ready to actually fight back. But he just kept on stabbing her until she lost consciousness. 

Her blood covered the floor.

 

He smirked. 

He smiled. 

He laughed. 

For the first time in all of this, he stared at her with love, kindness and empathy– with love, with love. "You’re so calm,” he whispered to her.

Then he brought out the bigger blade and cut her body into two pieces. That was the last of it– the last of her. She couldn’t say goodbye.

He ground up what was left and buried it in his backyard. Of course, he wanted her to stay near his home. Close to his heart. 

Would he miss her or would he just replace her?

For a long time, he wasn’t sure. For years. The truth was, he had very nearly forgotten all about it when he came home what night and saw a figure, hovering, that could have been nothing at all like a human being. 

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Author's note: Here is the third episode of "Whispers of the Wicked". Do let me know your feedback in the comments. 

For reading first episode, click here. For second, click here.